


Home, James

by beedekka



Category: 10 O'Clock Live RPF, British Comedian RPF
Genre: Dirty Talk, Driving, M/M, Outdoor Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 18:31:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beedekka/pseuds/beedekka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Driving home from a Christmas gig, Jimmy manages to indulge in a few of his favourite things in life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home, James

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marginaliana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marginaliana/gifts).



What do you get if you say words in a certain order and a certain tone? A laugh.  


And Jimmy’s pretty certain that jokes are as simple as that. Okay, it matters a bit what the words are, but not as much as you’d think – not for getting the laugh, at least. Perhaps the words might define the degree of _quality_ of a gag, or categorise it by topic or by style, but it’s the delivery that makes the difference.  


So that’s what he focuses on: verbal patterns, pauses, timing, intonation… the things he can use to trigger the reaction he wants. He counts syllables and seconds, and works out the rhythm of every joke he tells; he revels in nuances, how each set-up and punchline feels on his lips and sounds in his ears. It’s scientific and sensual at the same time, and so incredibly satisfying.  


There are only three things in Jimmy’s life that give him that kind of inside-out buzz, and the other two are driving fast and fucking hard. Tonight must be a perfect night, then: a late drive back from a great Christmas gig, to a bed full of David Mitchell.

***

After half-listening to the news for a while, toying with the sound of the words ‘toxic phrases’ and ‘plebs’ until he had the bones of a nice topical gag laid out, Jimmy reached the M1 merge and switched his attention to the road. Now he could _really_ go. If he was lucky and the route stayed clear and quiet, he’d be home in under an hour. He knocked the radio off and dropped his hand down to the gear stick, his palm and fingers slipping around it to meet the familiar feel of hard leather and high-end plastic. Jimmy loved the way his grip fit perfectly against the curves and the shaft moved so easily under his hand; this was the best car he’d ever driven for smooth changes – a real marvel of mechanical engineering. Safely through the junction, he gave the stick a final gentle flick to double-check it was where he thought it was – diagonal right, fifth – exactly where it spent most of its time on these journeys. Then he put his foot down, a frisson of excitement running right to the tips of his fingers as he watched the needle on the speedo moving steadily past 80, 90, 100…  


The motorway was virtually empty and the darkness was clear and sharp, his lights cutting through and picking out the glittering cat’s-eyes that stretched endlessly forwards like diamond chains; ones wound up with shiny white-line ribbon and presented on a strip of black velvet tarmac. A dark and open road was right up there in Jimmy’s top ten of beautiful things. Strangely enough, he had Clarkson to thank for that – a man who, where driving was concerned, clearly knew a kindred spirit when he met one. Years ago now, after Jimmy had surprised everyone on _Top Gear_ with his run in the reasonably priced car, he’d invited him to a deserted circuit in the middle of the night and driven him around it with a grace and speed that Jimmy thought defied human capability. Jeremy had hardly said a word as he powered up the straights and flew around corners at the edge of what was safe and sane, but the brief grin he flashed when he glanced over and saw Jimmy unbuckling his seatbelt spoke loudly enough. The burst of acceleration it triggered made Jimmy want to see what happened if he unbuckled something else.  


It might have been one of the more unorthodox one night stands he had experienced, but when it was over and Jimmy was leaning comfortably against the warm bonnet and watching cigarette smoke rise up over the dawn-bathed track, he’d found himself feeling as energised as when he was writing, and he knew he’d unlocked something special in his mind. In fact, it turned out not to be the only thing he ended up unlocking courtesy of Jeremy, and the flashy car with the flawless gears he was currently driving still stood, some years later, as the most ostentatious gift he’d ever received.  


A few months after that, Jimmy had been amused to pull up outside a big charity gig and see Will Young arriving in the exact same model: identical bodywork modification, interior customisation, little extras… Even the key-ring he caught sight of in Will’s hand had the same kind of expensive engraved tag hanging on it. Jimmy knew what it said, and why Will blushed and gave an awkward smile when their eyes met; it was the vehicular equivalent of showing up to a party in the same dress, gifted (albeit with sincerity) by the same, generous sugar daddy. Jimmy laughed now at the mental image of that moment. It was a time in his life that had made for some interesting memories, that was for sure! 

A small electronic ‘ping’ from his mobile phone, clipped to the dash, brought him back to the present. That was a message from David, he guessed. Jimmy didn’t usually text him to let him know when he was leaving a gig, or what time he thought he’d get back because he figured that if anything happened to delay him it just gave David the opportunity to worry. Sometimes David still texted him, though – short messages to say that he was up late writing, or impatient missives as to how much he wanted Jimmy back there and naked _now_. He didn’t check to see what it said this time, knowing that when he didn’t reply David would know he was driving, anyway. The speed he was travelling at was eating up the miles in between them, and Jimmy was looking forward to getting home soon and talking to him for real. There was a more than even chance that he'd get to translate the pleasure of a great gig and an exhilarating journey into some excellent sex. 

They were an odd couple, on the face of it, but once their stage personas were out of the equation, he and David had found that they shared a common ground of impressive proportions. Jimmy had been surprised at that; he’d always thought that the comics who came up through acting and the Footlights were a fundamentally different lot to him and his fellow circuit stand-ups. But once you attained a certain level of fame, he supposed, it started to matter less what kind of fire you were forged in, and more what kind of outlook you took to the world around you. Working together on _10 ‘O Clock_ had shown them that ‘entertaining cynicism’ was a basic mode that could encompass both the most flippant jokers _and_ passionate rhetoricians without compromising anyone’s moral standpoint. And of course, it didn’t hurt that he and David found each other’s physicality as attractive as their mind, either. One day, improvising some throw-away lines together in rehearsal had turned into doubling each other over with helpless laughter, and then to pulling each other’s clothes off against a rail of truly ridiculous costumes in Jimmy’s dressing room. Jimmy grinned, thinking about it; the roll of laughter they’d got each other on, and the compulsion to keep it going, challenging themselves to go one-up on every line until it didn’t really matter _what_ they were saying, just that the other person was enjoying it… Another pair of kindred spirits had found themselves that day, and Jimmy, who ended up naked and half-buried in a pile of bunched-up dresses and luxurious wigs, experienced another one of his more unorthodox sexual encounters.

***

Jimmy had to slow up as he got closer to home and exchanged the motorway for A-roads, then for city streets lined with cars and late-night revellers stumbling from taxis and into bars and out of bars and into kebab shops. He loved the buzz of London and the 24 hour parade of activity it pulled him into, but after the speeds he'd been hitting on the open road, the car felt like it was crawling now. He rippled his fingers against the steering wheel and concentrated on not letting the come down start just yet. Fortunately, he wasn't very far from his destination.

The sensor on his key fob activated the garage door as he approached it, and Jimmy drove inside, cutting the engine and pulling on the handbrake as the door whirred down again behind him. He left the key in the ignition and the headlights on, though, beaming back at him off the wall; until he got out and switched the overhead lights on himself, the garage would be in total darkness else. Unclipping his phone from the dash, he remembered David’s text message and finally took a look at it.

_Books all read. Television crushingly dull. Hoping you bring some excitement back with you tonight._

Jimmy smiled and tapped in a quick reply: _An early present? Meet me in the garage now._ Then he sat back and waited. He knew David would do it, and he knew that _he_ knew what he was coming down here for. Every so often they did this: sometimes David would get in the car and Jimmy would drive straight out again, taking random turnings until they ended up somewhere with a little atmosphere to it; sometimes, he’d come down and Jimmy would already be hard and waiting to fuck him across the back seat. David didn’t drive, but he certainly seemed to understand how Jimmy enjoyed it, and to be more than happy to indulge him in combining cars with sex.

Light suddenly casting in through the interior door signalled David’s appearance, and Jimmy started up the engine again, knocking the car into reverse in readiness.

“Good evening, James,” David greeted him, grinning as he climbed in. “Do we have a destination in mind?”

“Somewhere with a view?” Jimmy asked. “It’s clear as a bell outside.”

David dropped his hand to cover Jimmy’s on the gear stick, and looked him intensely in the eyes. “Show me something beautiful.”

***

Within minutes they were in the heart of the city, on the roof floor of a huge, multi-storey car park. David laughed as Jimmy pulled up in a space at the edge and cut the engine. “When you suggested somewhere scenic, I didn’t expect to end up at the local NCP!”

“Don’t knock it,” Jimmy told him. “Wait ‘til you see the view.”

They both stepped out of the car and walked to the wall. There was a weak-looking fence concreted into the top of it, but it didn’t detract from the sight beyond it – a massive spread of buildings, roads, and lights that were as bright and colourful as a Christmas tree. “Wow, it _is_ beautiful,” David breathed. 

After a moment, Jimmy moved to join him on the passenger side, coming up behind David and wrapping his arms around him. His body was a warm barrier against the wind blowing through the fence at them, and he felt David pressing back into him, moulding them together. Lightly, Jimmy began to kiss his neck, enjoying the responsive shiver it earned him. Then he moved his lips up to his lover’s ear. “I want to fuck you right here,” he whispered, “looking out over all of this.”

“Do it,” David said. 

Jimmy reached down and found David’s belt buckle with one hand, and cupped his cock through the thin material of his fly with the other. David made an appreciative sound at the contact, and Jimmy began to massage him through the cotton. As he felt the firm outline of David's growing erection start to fill his loose grip, his lips found David’s ear again. “I’ve been thinking about doing this the whole way home tonight,” he murmured. “I couldn’t wait to get back and touch you.”

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about the first time we ever fucked - how hot you were, how hard..."

Jimmy had always thought that the same desire to keep an audience on a roll of laughter with your words also created a compulsion to keep talking that bled into the rest of your life. It can’t have been a coincidence that nearly every comic he’d ever ended up in bed with was not only a verbally dexterous flirt, but also absolutely incorrigible when it came to dirty talk. He and David definitely played that game, and Jimmy prided himself on being a master at it; he delighted in goading his lover with line upon line of whispered obscenities and filthy promises until he could tell that David’s mind had blanked and he couldn’t answer back. _Those_ were the kind of moments he craved; those seconds when he was able to force them both into the eye of a perfect mental storm, and David’s urge to say something clever in response to every invitation was overwhelmed by the inability to think rationally at all.

"You make me want to come just thinking about you while I'm driving," Jimmy continued. "Sometimes I start thinking about you when I'm writing and I have to stop and..." As he opened David’s belt and started to ease his trousers down, David suddenly ground back against him, rubbing Jimmy’s own erection between them. “Mmm, that’s it, push me,” he murmured. “Get me even harder.” His long coat shielded the sight of what they were doing, although the car park was deserted anyway, and from the overlooking buildings they would just have seemed like two people standing by the wall. Jimmy loved that David was into having sex outside; another trait they shared that most people would likely never believe was true of him.

“Jimmy…” Before he could push David’s trousers any further, David caught his hand and guided it to the condom and lube sachet in the pocket.

“You’re not wasting any time, are you?” Jimmy asked him teasingly, stepping back slightly to give himself room to free his cock from his straining clothes and sheath himself up.

“You’re the one saying you can’t wait,” David teased him right back. “If you’ve got a minute to spare, why don’t you use that cheeky mouth to kiss me?” David turned around so that he was leaning back against the wall, running his hands up inside Jimmy’s coat and over his chest now he could reach it. Then they were kissing, hot and urgent, their hard cocks pressing against each other.

Moments later, Jimmy felt David’s fingers prying the lube from his, and he let him take it. Then he felt the brief slide of slick fingers around his erection, before David broke the kiss and concentrated on manoeuvring his bunched-up trousers off one leg so he could hook it up against Jimmy’s thigh. Jimmy watched, enthralled, feeling his cock jump at the moan David gave when he reached back and started fingering himself.

Their position – David’s back leant up to the fence and Jimmy supporting his balance – wasn’t perfect, so David turned around again before urging Jimmy forward. “Now who can’t wait?” Jimmy asked, but he knew the answer was ‘neither of us’. Being inside his lover never failed to elate him; the feeling of being so close, and being able to drive David over the edge with his cock and his voice – it was something he couldn’t imagine being without now he had it. In fact, he couldn’t imagine being without David now, full stop.

“Fuck me,” David murmured. “Come on and fuck me.”

Slowly at first, then faster and firmer, they moved together, the heat between them rising and overwhelming the cold of the night air blustering across the roof. Their movements were practiced, comfortable, and they both knew _exactly_ how to push each other’s pleasure higher. Jimmy heard his own voice still whispering fragmented indecencies, but it was their effect that was more important than their sense now as David groaned in response and urged Jimmy to fuck him harder.

The view of the city over David’s shoulder was beautiful, but Jimmy had to close his eyes as he lost it. “Oh fuck… so fucking hot like this,” he told him, gripping David tighter and closer as they rocked together. He kept moving until he felt him shudder and gasp too, stroking himself to climax all over the concrete in front of them. Then they stilled, hands bracing heavily on the wall as they caught their breath and watched the lights of London glittering around them.

Eventually, David broke the silence. “That was really something.”

“Yeah,” Jimmy agreed. “It’s been a perfect night.”

David moved his hand to twine loosely with Jimmy's for a second. "Good. And I'm glad you brought me up here; it's such an amazing view from this height, and in the dark." He paused. "Although we probably should get ourselves together and get on our way before a security guard comes patrolling or something.”

Jimmy laughed. “I think it’s G4S here – there won’t be anyone around until January, now!”

Carefully, they pulled away from each other and started to rearrange their clothes. Jimmy tossed the spent condom down beside the wall and zipped himself back up, body still tingling from the sex, and far too hot for the coat anymore. He shrugged it off and chucked it in the back seat, before opening the front passenger door and holding it for David. It was David’s turn to laugh. “That’s very gentlemanly of you; if I hadn’t just watched you flick a used prophylactic into a gutter I might have been impressed by that suavity.”

“Who’s driving you home, baby?” Jimmy joked. “Class to the last.”

“That’s true – you’ve never left me to get the night bus yet…”

“You’d end up in Slough.”

“Then we wouldn’t be able to do all this again when we get in.”

Jimmy raised an eyebrow and leant in to rest a hand firmly on David’s thigh. “Well now, is that a promise?”

David’s eyes gleamed mischievously. “Home, James.”


End file.
